LESSON 1:
WELL, WHAT IS A FUZZBOX?
A "fuzz" box is an effects thingie that you put on a guitar to make it have a real BBZZZXXXKKSS type of sound. But that's not important right now.
LESSON 2:
BUILDING A BETTER FUZZBOX
Fuzzbox is actually four pretty wacky (or pretty wacky)girls, all between 18 and 23, from Birmingham, England, and Their hair is Clairol's nightmare, their bowl o' makeup" application striking to say the least. Mere words faint trying to describe their music, but let's tell the story of Fuzzbox first. . .
THE STORY OF FUZZBOX
It was about two years ago that school chummettes Vicky (now Vix), Maggie (now Magz), her sister JoAnn (Jo) and Tina (still just Tina)took a moment from abusing their hair to listen to some friends complaining about how they had a v. important "gig" the next night. But (bony finger of fate!) they had no opening band.
In a moment that will live forever in fibdom the girls said they were a band! Suddenly they found themselves with 24 hours to get equipment, invent a couple of songs and make like a real band--or look dopey in front of everyone.
They ended up doing a little bit of both, but surprisingly (especially to them), they were actually called back for a few encores. They took themselves about as seriously as four little girls playing dress-up and putting on a show in the backyard, but people liked their sweet vocals over rough-edged, "the heck with it" type guitars (heavily laced with the famous fuzzbox).
Suddenly, the joke was over! They were a band! They gave themselves the very appropriate name of We've Got A Fuzzbox And We're Gonna Use It! They were signed to a record label! They even opened for Sigue Sigue Sputnik!!! And that's the way it was . . .
Since it would have taken many more years for them just to say who they were, they're now known simply as Fuzzbox, while their debut album is called by their asthma-inducing former name. Not very serious but certainly not bimbos, the girls are determined to tour our country even if they have to limp across since guitarist-bassist-drummer-singer Jo has had a bit of an accident.
"I had an accident on a motorcycle with a car," she shrugs, looking at her cast. "I was just riding along and I pulled out in front of this car! Both the bones are broken right above my ankle--they were sticking out of my leg!"
Eeew. This might have had a bad effect on a girl's gee-tar playing, especially since most people are under the impression that Fuzzbox wouldn't know a guitar chord if it strangled them. They look very pleased with themselves when they report that this is not the case, since each girl plays bass, guitar, drums, and even the odd violin or saxophone.
"We've learned to play quite well," smiles Magz. "Not too Dire-Straits-fuso-section-specific, though!" Jo interjects quickly. "We on't aspire to be able to play in Dire Straitsfashion." "I think what's happened to us is that e've become more professional in that lots of people think we actually plan our mistakes " giggles Magz. "If we do a real big mess," grins Jo, "we just stop the song and tell the audience not to throw beer at us!" The girls shriek with laughter.
The stigma of not being able to play their instruments in the beginning has made people think of Fuzzbox not as a fun band but more like a joke. They might have been that when they started, but not now.
"People think that we're just a real joke," explains Jo, "and yet last year we hadn't had a week off. Me and Vicki and Tina were all at college getting our 'A' levels and Maggie had her job. We gave it all up. Maggie took a massive pay cut to do it. People think that's a joke?"
So what was it that gave these gals the guts to get up there and give 'em all they got (Good God--The Letter "G.")? Their attitude was, why not? "If you want to do it, it's a good laugh," smiles Jo, "it's more than a laugh when you start out, because it's just a complete hoot!" "Anyone who wants to do it should just do it but you shouldn't get yourself so worked up about not being successful or being successful, because it doesn't really matter," Magz says sensibly.
And then there are drawbacks, most notably the fallout of the famous Fuzzbox tresses after years of dyeing, bleaching, crazy-coloring,crimping and teasing (and that was before they started to work on it). "I used to have silly colors and I thought to do it black because that's a permanent color," says Jo. "You just can't keep bleaching and having it done and bleaching it and have it done and crimping it. Tina used to have really long hair and it all just fell out the back." Ulp. "You just have to weigh up the balance: 'Shall I go bald or shall I be a bit more boring?"' reckons Magz. But what's a girl to do? "Hats!" Jo and Magz chorus, and it's true: they are both sporting chapeaux, Jo's a sporty Ringo Starr-style cap and Magz' a big black sun-stopper atop dyed but uncrimped hair.
And now that the Fuzzbox girls are touring fools, they must be getting up to some horrendous rock star mischief, right? "No," Magz shakes her head, "Sometimes we do get very, very naughty (oh, horrors--Ed.). But we're not rude and vulgar." No, their idea of raunch 'n' roll, Magz sniggers, is this: "Tina is really ticklish, so when we play cards we say 'The person who loses gets tickled.' Then Tina won't lose and we'll tickle her anyway.
"She's the only person who's any fun to tickle, tie her up and things (???). we've tied her up in a hotel in England . . . " " . . . 'Cause we'd been playing cards and she actually did lose so we tickled her," continues Jo, "But she was fighting back a bit too much. So we tied up her legs and we just had to tie up her arms (!!!) and she did get really, genuinelly upset about it. I still want to tie her up and put her in an elevator and just send it up and down to see if anybody undoes her..."
